Dream Raven

Rette Mich - Tokio Hotel The only song in german i ever thought sounded beautiful+singer is pretty

2007-01-13T12:46:44Z



"Rette Mich - Tokio Hotel" on Google Video
Tokio Hotel (German band) with Rette Mich (translated to English - Save Me)

Otep

2006-12-04T02:45:13Z

Went to see Otep at fletchers with Mike, Scott, and Nykaen. It was truely awesome. They were better than i have ever seen them before. Otep is a goddess. Thats all there is too it. Mike even got on stage! He came back going "Smell my hand! I touched Otep!" lol I think he had a good birthday=) Ran into a few people i knew there too. Rosemary was there. I didnt know how that was gonna go down with nykaen at first, but they were fine about it. I guess him being engaged to kristal has done his some good emotionaly. Most of my night however was taken up with the intoxicating presence of a boy I have long admired from a far. I wont go into details, but i will just say that I had a LOT of fun at that concert =P To those who didnt go, U dont know what u missed. To me, it was nothing short of a spritual experience.

EEEEEKKK!!!!

2006-11-11T12:40:23Z

I am a huge fan of horror movies. I love them. They make me laugh. I had never found one that ever actually scared me though. But I just watched arachnophobia. OMG! I have a huge dislike of spiders. Not a phobia. I just want them all TO DIE! And the way they did that movie just seriously gave me the jitters. nasty creepy crawly things. *shuuder* they did to realistic a job with that movie.

O' Happy Day!

2006-08-17T07:10:24Z

I had what can only be decribed as a really good day. Its now almost 3a.m. on thursday and i have been up since 3p.m. tuesday. Thats Not really relevant except that I almost told danny "Na dude, I gotta snooze" when he called and asked if I wanted to go swimming with him and his friends. I did actually then thought "what the hell? I get to see Danny without a shirt!" (Even if he is legal now, he will always be my untouchable jailbait hottie)and called him back and said yes. Him, frenchy, and umm...I can never remember her name even though shes pretty cool, went to charlottes lock cause whats-her-name said there was a lake out there we could swim in. there wasnt. but we did have fun wading around in the potomac. But it wasnt deep enough to go swimming in so we headed for the pool near..is it alaina?'s house and swam around for a few hours. This was sort of momentous for me cause i havnt been to a pool in at least 6 years. I even took off my shirt and got some sun. Also momentous cause I almost always wear a shirt to go swimming thanks to my glow in the dark white skin and my selfconsciousness about my wieght. Thankfully half the pool was in the shade so i didnt burn at all i think. maybe a touch of rosyness to my cheeks. thats all Then we went bounceing around to thier different houses looking to grill some hamburgers, and finally did so at danny's. There was mad drama with one of Danny's REALLY STUPID friends than almost put a crimp in the whole thing, but i didnt know him so i was just amused by it. Now im home and in a really good mood for once. Hope we can do it again sometime. Thanks for a good day Danny. And thanks for thinking of me.

fyrther proof that if the world isnt coming to an end...than maybe it should...

2006-08-06T06:40:38Z

http://www.nbc11.com/news/9631509/detail.html

R.i.P. old phone

2006-08-05T19:43:37Z

It s has happened again. my phone is broke. I have a new one. those who actually still wish to keep in contact with me must leave thier numbers or email them to thethirteenthraven@yahoo.com so plz do so.
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nightshines @ 2006-07-08T04:59:00

2006-07-08T09:01:37Z

Happy birthday to me.
One more year till Im free
To go out at 27
and chill with hendrix in heaven

nightshines @ 2006-05-25T08:55:00

2006-05-25T12:55:14Z

That down there was something I wrote a while ago. I went to go update and it was there already in the box thing. wierd. but, i'm not going to deny the ghost in the machine.

I was gonna leave a long thing but not now. I'm kinda freaked out. so here's a short poem of whats been going down with me.

I find myself caught
in the great machine's trap
and as i'm ground down
I hear my mother clap

nightshines @ 2006-05-25T08:53:00

2006-05-25T12:51:53Z

How can you be wolven grace? You've shown you have a cowards face. You truely are a savage blessing, 2 leave lovelorn, forlorn and guessing. Your heart beats with the sound of silence. 2 Love there is no greater violence. Our love could soar high as a cloud, but you gave it a funeral shroud. How can I hold you close 2 my heart, When your indiference tears it apart? What hurts is you wont let me know, if I should finally let you go. So tell me Fox, should I stop hunting? And kill this final seed of wanting? I've ripped you peotry from my soul, and I am finding that it leaves a holeIn love I never am a quitter, but I find that i'm becoming bitter. Just tell me you no longer care, and free my dreams from long red hair. So please kitsune, please be brave. Because my heart is still your slave. This silence is still slavery...so please...Love Me or Set Me Free

Something wicked that way goes

2006-03-03T18:53:29Z

Time to return back 2 the world.
I've been at this place long enough, and I miss my friends.
I don't suppose anyone wants to through me a welcome back party? ;P
See most of you soon I hope

ny addy

2005-12-05T02:03:45Z

Heres the addy 4 those who want to send stuff.

P.O. box 147
wells n.y. 12110

And viva, I had a bunch of c.d.s stolen from me including the H.I.M. "sex" one (all I have is darklight) could you send me a replacement for that, the best of dfd and maybe a c.k.y. mix? I will give you love! and sarah! some art from above! Goldie just send me some love. and any others who wish to send some love please do so. a card would be more christmas present than I expect to get so...

House of St. Jude

2005-12-04T09:00:39Z

For those who were wondering where i've been lately, My mother has sent me to a retreat house in new york. Its not really a rehab. More of a school were they try to teach you social skills, how 2 hope, how to live realistically, and to basicly be a good person. It's funny in way. They are trying to teach me about good kharma without actually calling it kharma. I think I could teach them more almost. Though there are one or 2 people here worth learning from if not more. Thier philosophy is that the reason people do drugs is that they are unhappy when sober. Which I suppose is true. They really dislike A.A. and N.A. because of how they tell people they are powerless and diseased. They are all about the realization and choice. Think they realize that St. Jude is the patron saint of lost causes? Though I think there is some symbolism in all the volunteer service work they recommend. After all, St. Jude was jesus' slave. So in a way, they are teaching happiness in slavery. But really, it's just a nice place to chill out and try to plan the future. One big part is to write a life story. All the things that are negative that I can think of. To get them out of my head and on to a page where they can be burned if necessary. And a sexual history. heh. So I'll be seeing a few of your names on there anyway. Should be interesting to try to remember:) Anyway, people should call me so I can hear familiar voices. Actually they should leave me messages cause this house is a dead zone. But I can check messages twice a week when we go near civilization. The holidays are gonna suck being with a bunch of random people. Oh well. It's late. Time for bed.

Snow drops with Persephone's sigh
Falling ash from a burning sky
Her broken heart could slay the world
So Hecate walks with wings unfurled
To Free the queen whose heart is ice
She will crush Hades like a vise
For Cerberus has finally broken free
And together they are now dual trinity
Goddess of Magic, The Furies, the Fates
The Guard Head, the Thinker, And He who Hates
Now the dark king of greed begins to know many fears
That all his wealth cannot pay for a raped innocents tears
-R. Hunter D.

WHY CONDOMS COME IN BOXES OF 3, 6, AND 12

2005-12-01T16:49:02Z

Body: : A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks,"What are these, Dad? To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son.

Men use them to have safe sex.""Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."

He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package? " The dad replies,"Those are for high school boys, ONE for Friday, ONE for Saturday, and ONE for Sunday." "Cool" says the boy.

He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?" "Those are for college men," the dad answers, TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."

"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack!

With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied, "Those are for the married men. ONE for January, ONE for February, ONE for March....etc."

Repost this titled "WHY CONDOMS COME IN BOXES OF 3, 6, AND 12" within the next 5 minutes and something great will happen to you at 11:43 otherwise you will have bad sexual relationships for the next 2 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nightshines @ 2005-11-15T01:32:00

2005-11-15T06:29:50Z

taken from jay_la
YOU CAN ASK ME SEVEN QUESTIONS: Choose carefully!!
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
__________________________________________________
No matter how random, revealing, rude, or pointless
__________________________________________________
I promise to answer them 100% truthfully
__________________________________________________
[[[Repost this to see what others ask you...]]]
__________________________________________________
IF YOU DONT THEN YOU'RE SCARED OF WHAT PEOPLE MAY ASK

Now begs the question... does anyone really care about my secrets

nightshines @ 2005-10-29T11:30:00

2005-10-29T15:49:11Z

I wrote this for kitsune. Not as a feeble attempt to get him back, because while I will always have the hope I don't ever forsee that happening, but more just so I could get how I feel down on paper to get a better perspective. So without further ado...

For Kitsune+1

I know the name of the man who holds my wings
For when I'm with him my soul quitely sings
I know he can teach me how to fly
For in kissing him I am kissing the sky
to me he's not an ex anything
For he is my love and I gave him my ring
It's the bond that shows me my hearts true place
For I would do anything for his smiling face
He's lovely in form and gentle in soul
With him my tounge is quite hard to control
I foolishly brought him flowers by the dozen
For I was confused in how to show him I love him
That I failed my true love is my greatest disgrace
If he gave me the chance to his arms I would race
If it takes all my life I'll learn how to effect
How to give him my love and earn his respect
In our first kiss my hearts fate was sealed
I know with a kiss my heart can be healed

It makes no difference to me anymore how he feels about me. I just want my feelings known. I took me till I wrote that to figure out the whole time I was with him I could never believe that he loved me because I could not believe that I was worth loving. I now have a better understanding of myself though it was a hard lesson to learn. I'm done being the martyr. It's time to go after my dreams and live life rather than escape it.

lifes ups and downs

2005-10-23T13:51:21Z

Well, one more nervous breakdown. one more nice week long stay in a looney bin. thankfully this one helped me. It happened because I couldn't say no to drugs once again. I smoked some weed and it reacted with the medication i'm on. Can we say paranoid psychotic? This should tell you how bad I was...I called the cops on myself. It's o.k. now though. I know now I have the strength to say no. So I'm back to my new self. I found god of all things, but it's my god, no one elses. I'm a SUN is GOD worshipper not a son of god worshipper. "I lost my mind to find my soul, now I must regain control" quote from one of my new poems. I am 4 books old now, working on infinite more. I'm an idiot who found a savant. I had written a poem for kitsune that I still plan on putting here when I actually get to a computer with the right book, because I will never give up the hope of a one true love. Detremental to that being that I'm starting to believe I'm trisexual. Meaning I'll try anything once and have so much love to give it would smother one person. We'll have to see how crazy that idea turns out 2 be...Homeless again though which isn't fun. After kenton saw what the crazy level was on this Form he decided it wasn't safe to live with, which is understandable, but I'll figure something out. Hope is a powerfull thing.

My drug overdose and other life changes

2005-10-03T02:57:32Z

TO ALL WHO CARE! MY PHONE IS MISSING FOREVER AND I LOST ALL YOUR NUMBERS! LEAVE THEM ON COMMENT PLEASE! IF YOU WANT TO REACH ME CALL MY MOMS PHONE AT: 240 535 5900 I'll try to do this as quick as possible since I only have a little time before the buisness office at this hotel closes... Yes, thats right I did o.d. The good news is I was never in any danger of anything other than total retardation or self inflicted death. Of all the things to o.d. on, I did it on mushrooms. To those who know, they know that those cannot put you in any danger of death beyond self inflicted, but that also almost happened. After a nice weeklong stay at the looney bin(not recommended b.t.w.) I'm on the road to recovery. I really do need meds now though or I start to go wonkey again. I've lost everything because of this stupid drug use. House, wallet, phone, most of my remaining sanity.... I'm currently on the return trip with my mother at a hotel. We don't know what to do with me. But It's not all bad. I know that I will most likely never touch drugs again. All I want for me now is health. I've even truely quit smoking. I know I told you I did my love but I also know that you knew I really couldn't. It remains to this day the only thing I ever lied to you about. I swear on my mothers soul I tried, but the demon would not let me go and when I failed...... I would've killed myself before seeing you cry again. Thats why I felt I had to lie and I'm sorry. Beyond sorry. Cause I wanted beyond anything to be honest in all things with you. Never doubt my love for you though. That was still the truest love I've ever felt in my life. As to my o.d. though...It has been and still remains the single most terrifying thing that ever happened to me. I have almost no memory of it. All three days of it. And I was VERY awake/asleep those 3 days. Imagine waking up in the hostpital and being told not only did you scare your friends half to death to the point of having to call the cops for their and my safety (and they ARE stoners, so you know how much they must love cops) but that you have also spent most of the past few days in a mumbling, pacing state of mania. That you can't even remember. I never want to lose that much control of me again. I'll be in M.D. again for those who have missed me and want to see me to say hi. I know I've missed alot of you.... gtg now they are closing. I'll post again when I can. If you read this know that I love you. If you skipped it then you can go to hell. not really:) Peace all.

nightshines @ 2005-09-20T17:11:00

2005-09-20T21:12:42Z

Roar with the glorious sound of rage unleashed
when the chains of mind break and free the beast
for though we all worship at the altar of peace
we do so in the vestments of anger's priests
so give in to the side that wants for sharp teeth
to tear out the world's face and see whats beneath
the mask of the lies you've been told without cease
that tell you to fear those who don't share your beliefs

nightshines @ 2005-09-19T05:17:00

2005-09-19T09:28:47Z

I was born a tragedy awaiting fate

nightshines @ 2005-09-19T00:36:00

2005-09-19T04:36:41Z

See a song
taste a picture
smell a touch upon you
hear a scent of one you love
feel a taste consume you

nightshines @ 2005-09-18T06:06:00

2005-09-18T10:38:03Z

Desire was my father
My mother was Despair
a shadow named delirium
walks with me everywhere

nightshines @ 2005-09-18T02:07:00

2005-09-18T06:07:07Z

God is a mime, and we are all blind

nightshines @ 2005-09-17T04:16:00

2005-09-17T08:23:49Z

once i saw a butterfly
high up in a midnight sky
space and stars made up it wings
shining like the jewels of kings
it taught me secrets of the world
and showed me life's perfection
Ironic all this truth unfurled
from a hallucination

This isn't a very good meme..but I loved the picture

2005-09-10T07:17:59Z

you are a half-angel, you are a wonderful person
with no regrets

which half-breed are you???????
brought to you by Quizilla

The Circle is forever broken

2005-09-05T08:25:04Z

I just found out yesterday that one of my friends died. Not in the hurricane. An overdose. Most likely morphine. He was the little brother of one of my best friends, and consequently was sorta like my little brother too. I remember when he was 12 he asked me if I was a vampire. He was serious! Appearently my wearing black and being pale had him worried. Then i did one of my spookily right tarot readings and that spooked him more. Plus that I would always show up just after sunset and leave before dawn. I jokingly told him yes when he asked, and he freaked out and ran to a friends house. I had to come over early the next day, so he could see me in the daytime, to convince him i wasn't. Being me, I took the whole true belief in my vampirism as a huge compliment and made him my official sidekick for awhile. Including getting him high for the first time when he hit 7th grade. Cause thats when I, and everyone else I knew, first did it. Which makes me really feel like shit now in retrospect. I don't blame myself though. I told him over and over again not to do hard drugs. But, like some people I know, he was just a born addict waiting for the right drug to come along. For him it was painkillers. His mother had a permenant perscription. She needed them, with the spinal damage she had leaving her in constant pain. Then her doctor changed her perscription to a new drug that had just come out. Oxycoton. (I think i spelled that right). Which is basicaly the herion of painkillers. Incredibly powerfull, incredibly addictive. And he got hooked. I myself, do not like painkillers. Unless i'm in physical pain. I spent enough of my life leaning to be numb to escape my depression to enjoy the feeling. So seeing someone cut open a morphine patch to suck/squeeze out the gel and eat it is shocking and repulsive to me. But by the time I found out all this was going on, his family had moved and I was no loger a fixture in his life. His parents tried military school, but that didn't work any better than my opinion did on what he was doing. His newly formed homophobia didn't lend my view any weight either. It's like he turned from the cute little kid who I spent endless mornings playing tekken with, to someone I could no longer understand. I like to think of drugs as demons. So i tend to look at drug addiction as akin to demon possesion. And in truth, sometimes, you can tell when it's the drug talking and not the person. I think of weed like an imp or hobgoblin. Causes mischief, but doesn't do any real damage. Cocaine and it's ilk being greater demons. Trading bliss for the cost of ones soul, and in most cases ones life. Herion is the fucking balrog! And lets not forget satan in the form of a familiar. Known as nicotine. I'm oviously going to have to rethink where painkillers belong in that hierarchy. I always tried to tell him, if you are going to use drugs, make sure the drugs you are useing, aren't useing you. Now he's gone. Just another statistic in the end. He was the only one who could challenge me at tekken. I don't think I'm ever gonna be able to play that game again. I haven't been able to call Ryan back. Ryan being his brother, and my oldest friend. Oldest as in I've know him since 5th grade and been good friends since I was a sophmore in highschool. I just don't know what to say. If there even IS anything to say. I'm almost more worried about thier mom. She was always one of my favorite people. We would have really long talks in the morning after she woke up and I being a teen age angst-filled me would be still awake and generally depressed. She was a little nuts herself, and would give me tips on how to get though the bad spots from an insiders perspective. It was her who told me I needed a reason NOT to kill myself. Cause after all, if I killed myself I wouldn't be able to hear the new TOOL c.d. that was coming out the next week. Or how babylon 5 was going to end. She said for all the reasons to kill yourself, there was always at least one not to. She said she was lucky in that she had 2 reasons not to and if we wern't quieter, we would probably wake them up. Now, one of her reasons is gone. I hope she's o.k. Death never hurts the one who dies as much as those around them. I hope you made it to your heaven. Just in case your stuck in purgatory I'll pray for you. And a prayer coming from a christianity dispising heathen like me should be worth a hundred from someone who does it all the time right? And if u are in hell, at least it will be a lot colder once I do. And hey, if I'M right, maybe I'll see you the next time around:)

I love you little brother.
Goodbye Brennan